moonshinefaerie

It's been quite a ride for the past two years. Plenty of emotional downs, way more than ups I must say, or maybe it just feels that way cos I've been focusing on the bad for too long. It brought me to the point I'm not sure in anything I want anymore and to the point where my fears overtook my ambitions. All I can rely on are my childhood dreams. They are the closest thing to the ambitions I had before I lost myself, right? On the other hand, I can't complain. I had a comfortable life. A job, a job in this crazy time when so many people lost that security, a nice apartment I never had to worry about and a group of friends I could rely on in all situations.

Last four days passed unimaginably fast. I still haven't replied to some of the birthday messages and I keep postponing to doing it after work or later and guess what, it's a new day by then and we are getting further and further away from the 12th August.

Twenty three seemed like an "old" age to me when I was a child. Probably because I was walking and talking when my mom was that age, probably because my parents had their shit together at twenty three while I'm still searching for "my call", "my purpose" in life. Honestly I feel like I'm going through a foggy forest, stumbling upon various things but leaving them after a while in search for THE thing. Instead of getting closer to the exit I'm getting deeper and deeper, more and more lost.

The hardest thing about moving to a new country is being away from the people closest to you. To some of you it might be parents, sisters or brothers, but to me that are my friends. The ones that know pretty much everything about me and we'd always be there for each other. You know those days when you don't have will to do anything on your own but if you had that one person with you you'd go here and there, take them to all the places you like, share your previous explorations and explore new places. It's nice to have some alone time, but everything's better in two.

I was always a loner. Preferred spending time in my bedroom, laying on bed, listening to music or reading books rather than going out with a group of people and just sit there cos I'd never have anything to say. I'm not sure at what point that changed. When did I become the person that needs plus one. Maybe after months spent exploring alone, being alone, having 24 hours of the day just for myself. I needed my best friends here. Every other  time we'd talk to each other I'd probably end up in tears. Thinking about hugging them, holding their hand and doing the things we would do back home. An important piece of my life was missing and so was one from their.

In May, after seven months spent apart, my best friend came to visit me. It was one of the happiest days so far. I couldn't hold back the tears at the airport when I hugged him.

Photo taken by: Aga Swiderska

Last time I wore corduroy was when I was a kid. I've been wanting to give it a chance once again after so many years but it seemed impossible to find something that would make me look more than 7 years old. During winter sales I ordered these brown pants from Pull&Bear without having any expectations. What I can now say about them is that they are the most comfortable pair ever! When you think of corduroy you might think it's stiff and itchy, but no, these pants are very soft and warm, Perfect for cold winter days and still slightly warmer spring. My only complaint is that they are short (as every other pants today are).

Cold days are here so people from Femme Luxe were kind enough to send me three of their knitwears to try out and share with you. I'm one of the people who have ten layers on themselves as soon as it gets close to 0°. I try to avoid it by wearing chunkier jumpers underneath the coat but sometimes it tends to be hard.

Femme Luxe is an online fashion brand. At first I didn't have high expectations and wasn't sure how thick will the knitwear even be. But when it arrived I was so surprised. The clothes is nicely made. The material is soft and the knitting is impeccable.

Here are three different outfits and short reviews of the items.

#1 White jumper

Botanical gardens are such a peaceful spot to spend warm days in, walking through shades of different trees to get away from the burning sun, seeing all those colorful flowers and enjoying the slow paced rhythm it has in the middle of a city who's always rushing.
Being surrounded by nature will always be soothing to me. Living in a city is much more interesting at this point of life. There's always something going on, you always have a place to go to. But there are also spots to get away from it all, like this one. Where you can forget about the daily tasks, take a deep breath and enjoy the nature around you, even if for just half an hour.

Oh how sweet are these long warm summer days. As a summer child there’s nothing more I could crave for. As soon as the warm days started I ended up spending most of my time outside, merely coming home to sleep. In the last few months so much happened and I don’t even know where to start. There were many ups and downs, dramas I never though I’d have to deal with and opportunities I never though I’d get. Even though life is still a mess focusing on the positive things is what makes us move forward.  So let’s focus on those good things! I’m trying to focus more on photography and make something out of it because it’s one of the things I enjoy doing and feel passionate about. I got to shoot two proms so far ( I’ll show you photos in future posts)  and will shoot couple more in the upcoming week. I learn quite a bit from each session so I’m always looking forward to new ones. Yesterday INmusic festival ended and I spent the entire day in bed recovering from dancing and singing all night long. For the third day I carried an analogue camera and tried to compensate for not taking any photos during the past two days so when I get them developed I’ll share them here if they’ll be any good haha. Another good news is that I quit one of the two jobs I was doing. Now I have more time for other things and can finally get some sleep.

This moment and shots taken in it reminded me of some Icelandic crime/mystery tv series. So keep that in mind while scrolling down haha.